“What are your financial goals”
“I don’t know. I want to have enough money.”
“Enough for what?”
“This is why I don’t have goals. Every time I think I’ve got something done, here comes another sumbitch demanding more, moving the posts, kicking me out of the end zone. It’s as bad as high school.”
“How long-term is your financial thinking? The end of the month? The year? Until retirement? Beyond your lifetime?”
“I got six dollars in my pocket, and I owe Jimmy the Fig seventy large.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. What does that have to do…?”
“That’s how far into the future my financial plans go. I got six dollars in my pocket.”
“Alright. And you owe Jimmy the Pig seven.”
“It’s Jimmy the Fig. And it’s seventy large. Seventy k. Seventy thousand.”
“Dollars?”
“No, jelly beans. Ya yutz.”
“And that is the extent of your financial plan.”
“Yeah.”
“Well, sir, I’m sorry, but I don’t see how I can possibly approve this loan.”
“But you got the cash right there.”
“Oh, I don’t, though. I don’t have any cash here.”
“Huh.”
“Yes.”
“Does somebody here have seventy large in cash, maybe at one of these desks, here?”
“No, sir. Cash is kept in locked cabinets. And any amount larger than one thousand dollars, a single ‘large,’ as you say, is kept in the vault.”
“And the vault, that’s back there…”
“There, yes, past the armed guards.”
“Well, then I will bid you good day.”
Audio Version by Ruth Gibbs, Ben Gibbs
Piano by James Gibbs